the myth of entitlement.

why do i still sometimes cling to this myth of entitlement?

this myth that tells me the following:

if i work hard, i will prosper

if i mean well, i will be rewarded in my efforts

if i try, i will succeed

i have to remember that this is some kind of American childhood fantasy, that was taught to me in school, or at home, or somewhere...

but it simply isn't true. like my dad DID remind me as a child, "life is not fair."

and obviously, for so many in this world, who are starving, living with diseases, injustice, poverty, political unrest, war - life is not fair.

i have been fortunate to grow up healthy, in a stable environment.

and now, for my medical bills to go to collections seems like the end of the world. i don't want my credit to be destroyed, but i DON'T have the money to pay them! and the charity care did not cover all of the costs.

so now i will have a blemish on my credit record, and it seems frustrating, but in the scope of the world, it's ok. i will live. there are WAY worse things in life to deal with than enormous medical bills.

but i have to keep reminding myself of this. because the situation makes me want to pout and have a bad attitude.

i wish everyone in the world had free medical care. and world peace, and all the rest. i wish everyone was healthy and comfortable. i really do.