stochastic events

not sure what to make of this strange happenstance, that both Bangkok and Mumbai have wallpapered the front-page news with stories of politial upheaval, violence and chaos.

my memories still cloud my current perceptions of thailand

peaceful. polite. gentle. pleasant.

i guess it is still probably so. as evidenced by the fact that the recent events were characterized by largely non-violent protests, as opposed to outbursts of random violence.

however, mumbai is a different story. completely painted by random, hollywood-style bloody violence. come to think of it, mumbai is indeed the hub of bollywood, isn't it? sadly this terrorist attack has only further publicized the city into a theatrical nightmare.

sometimes blood isn't real to me, but would it be there? i've learned to see it regularly at harborview with not so much as the bat of an eye. but if i saw someone being dragged out before me and shot, what on earth would i do? i can run the c-arm in a bloody tibial nail case just fine. bring on the blood. drill that rod into the tibia. go for it.

but what would i do if my friend was being tortured and killed right in front of me?

vomit. i would vomit.

ok. time to not write about this any more on this late evening.

things will be ok,

not because anyone said they would be,

but because statistically, they will be, for a couple of random white girls.

it's just chance,

but i think the chances are certain

that it won't be me this time.

just not yet.