somehow i’ve learned to see it now, the blood and pain at the hospital. somehow it no longer gets so far inside me. i no longer see faces every night in my dreams. i no longer have to come home and run to forget. how did this happen? when did i grow this other layer of skin?
i don’t really feel that much more experienced.
sometimes i think the passage of time is more powerful than any other force on earth. more powerful than therapy. drugs. experience. mental breakthroughs.
simply time passing, that is all.
what is it about time
and how really, how really, do we physically age?
what on earth is time
and why can’t we really measure it at the quantum level
how does our skin know that a minute, a year, a decade has passed?
who delivers the message to our hearts, our arteries
how on earth do my thoughts continue to stretch out as one long fiber -
when will my thoughts weave together as a sweater to keep me warm?
because i need a blanket in my old age.
i could really use a cloth
and not this tangled mess of thread.
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with a dash of foxtail
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